Harry Potter and the MakeOut Scene of DOOM
by Tuomas Lover
Summary: Oh mah gah this is totally awesome! You should totally read it!11111111onetwothreefourfive666. Oh yes. It's totally wit Draco and Dumbledore. And Crabbe, Goyle, and McGonagall, and Lucius and Dudley. Oh mah gah, such cute pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Prepare yourself... for the biggest journey... of all time... with jokes... and laughs... and **parodyville!** I'M WARNING YOU, it's pure awesomeness.

Harry Potter and the Make-Out Scene of DOOM

"This is so awesome!" said Harry Potter, picking his nose.

"What is, Harry?" said Ron, "I love you Harry!"

Ron and Harry start making out, and then Hermione joins in with the picture.

"Dude, Draco and Dumbledore are going out!" said Harry Potter, still picking his nose.

"That is so hot!" said Hermione, helping Harry with his nose. "I'm going to go write a fanfic about it!"

_Hokay, so, it is ze end of ze vorld, because Dumbledore and Draco are making out. Dumbledore's beard is wrapping around Draco and stuff, and Harry Potter is totally digging it. Oh mah gah, and Hermione is being awesome and stuff. This totally rules._

"Oh my GOD this is such a totally awesome fanfic!" said Pansy Parkinson, looking at it on the intarweb. "TOTALLY COOL! I'm sending it to all my friends. Isn't it romantic, Draco?"

Draco was too busy making out with Dumbeldore to notice worth a damn. He was caressing him and stuff.

"DRACO YOU BITCH! You're dating him instead of me? I totally hate you, Draco!"

"What now?" said Draco, pulling out of his smooch.

"Can I join?" Pansy begged. Draco put his arm around her, and Pansy began to make out with Dumbledore, too. "This is so AWESOME!"

"And all the wizards say I'm pretty fly... for a white guy," Dumbledore sang in pleasure.

_So, as things got so much more awesomer, things got awesomer! Oh mah gah, and Dumbledore was so into it. And Harry was watching, and puking and stuff, because he thinks fanfics like this are sick. Oh mah gah, he is so wrong. This is totally my life, and it will always be my life. I totally LOVE romantic Harry Potter fanfics. Especially Draco/Remus, Remus/Harry, Hermione/McGonagall, Harry/Snape, Narcissa/Crabbe & Goyle. Oh mah gah, it totally rocks. So things keep getting cool, and Dumbledore is like "woah" and Hermione starts puking too because this is pointless and stuff. And then Harry Potter starts singing Meat Loaf, now puking out his lung and stuff, and Hermione is going crazy because this is so awesome!_

"Oh my GOD, you should read this, Harry!" said Hermione. "It is so awesome, I am going to show it to my mom, too!"

"Waaah, my mom's dead!" said Harry.

"Waaaah, who CARES?"

"I hate you Hermione."

"I hate you too, Harry."

Harry and Hermione start making out.

"We should totally do this more often!" said Dumbledore and Draco together.

"I love going out with you, Draco!"

"I love you too, Dumbledore!"

"Shazam!" said Harry, capturing this on camera.

"No waaay! Cameras don't work in Hogwarts!1111one" said Draco.

"Oh mah gah, now they do!" said Harry, picking his nose again.

"Ooo, I wanna pick my nose, too!" said Dumbledore.

"Totally!" said Draco.

_So, as ze end of ze vorld nears, Dumbledore and Draco keep doing stuff, and the world is like "screw this" and it goes to Mars. So, Mars is being bothered by the world, because Draco and Dumbledore won't stop making out, and so Harry Potter needs to die because Voldemort is still alive. So, Voldemort kills everyone, and then kills Draco and Dumbledore. The end._

**A/N **Heck yes, I loved it, don't you? Please review it. Pretty please? Bash it, love it, I don't care what you do. Oooo I can't wait for the bashings from my romance fanfiction lovers. Totally.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N** Brace yourself! It's part two of Harry Potter and the Make-Out Scene of DOOM!

"Oh my GOD, have you heard?" said Hermione, spanking Harry's buttocks.

"Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates," said Ron, eating a box of "chocolates" right from the toilet. He now had "chocolate" smithered around his face. "Wait, what?"

"Crabbe, Goyle, and McGonagall are totally going out now," Hermione shouted in disbelief.

"No way Jose!" said Harry, putting on a pouty face.

"Oo oo I see a fanfic coming on!" said Ron, now holding his stomach. "Wow, my stomach really likes this chocolate."

"Uh, Ron, I don't think that's chocolate," said Harry, squirming.

"Oh... uh oh," said Ron. He then leaned over and starting puking up the greatest chocolate in the world.

"Oh mah gah, now it's time to write that fanfic!" Hermione squealed, now rushing over to her computer. Again.

_Hokay, so, this next chapter starts off with Ron puking up dark and milk chocolate and Harry is all grossed out and what-not, but that's not the point. Crabbe, Gorle, and McGonagall are so going out and they're being awesome right now. So, McGonagall is still a virgin and everything, so Goyle shouted "let's make this story a lemon!" and he did. So, now that the story is a lemon, everyone is cheering and clapping and puking and what-not because it's kinda awesome that McGonagall is having a threesome with Crabbe and Goyle. So, this story is crazy now._

"Oh my GOD check this out!" said Hannah Abbott, who was now humping Professor Flitwick and doing stuff with him. "Aren't Professor McGonagall, Crabbe, and Goyle so hot together? Hey, Ernie! Come on, everyone needs to read this, it is SO good!"

"Oh mah gah, Hannah, this is so hot," said Ernie, wearing a pink dress and red nail polish, with his hair up in a ponytail. "Aren't they the cutest triple of all time?"

"Totally," Hannah replied. She then rubbed Professor Flitwick's hair. "Flitty, what do you think?"

"Ruff ruff! WOOOOOOO!" he said, with his eyes widened.

"He doesn't like to talk when he's having ice cream, you see," said Hannah, caressing her loyal slave, Flitwick.

_So, with that being even better, Ron is still puking, Mars is pushing Earth away to Venus, Venus is eating earth, and Harry Potter is feeling awesome right now, because he is now joining McGonagall, Crabbe, and Goyle in their fun. So, as the four of them were being awesome, Voldemort decided to bring out his wand. "Wooo, who wants to cast a spell with me?" he shouted in the great hall, with a bunch of students running up to him. Then, they realized he was bald, which was kind of nasty, but some students found it awesome. So, as they were being awesome and ze end of ze vorld was coming again, and Voldemort was being awesome, so the whole world was in harmony, even though God did not like it. Wait, no! Wizards are satanists and they're all going to hell, no way!_

"Oh my GOD, Parvati, this is so awesome," said Lavender Brown, feeling very brown at the moment. Haha, get it? Brown!

"Oh my GOD, we are totally satanists, this is so accurate," said Parvati, jumping up in down, cheering so much that she started picking her nose.

"So yeah, I'm gonna go see Flitty downstairs and do stuff with him with Hannah."

"Totally!"

_So as everyone was being Satanic and awesome, people were bowing down to Voldemort and enjoying his spells. So people were like, "dude, Voldemort is so awesome, now I see what it's like to be a death eater" and other people were like "heck yesssss" and Napoleon Dynamite then joined the picture and he was being awesome and then the end of the chapter was coming so more and more people were being awesome and then because of all the awesomeness, ze vorld blew ze up!_

"Wheeee! Oh my GOD, this is so fun," said Harry, as he was floating in the air. Him, McGonagall, Crabbe, Goyle, Voldemort, Hannah, Parvati, Lavender, Ron, Hermione and Flitwick were all attacked to eachother and flying to Mars. The end.

**A/N **I'm sorry, but stories like this are meant to be short. You gotta love it anyways, ofcourse. I have such a fun time writing this.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N** Be awesome. Read and review this.

"I'm coming my precious, to make out with you, my precious," said a random, weird voice out of nowhere, who was totally being very awesome.

"My mother told me that I'm special," said Ron, sitting on Hermione and taking a huge dump at the same time. "Ahh... this feels good."

"What are we doing, my love?" said the random voice again.

"Uh, Harry? What's happening to your voice?" Ron asked, finishing up his awesomeness.

"I'm not Harry, my love... I'm coming to tell you that LUCIUS MALFOY AND DUDLEY DURSLEY ARE GOING OUT, MY PRECIOUSSSS!"

"Oh mah gah, let's get back to so, ze end of ze vorld eez over, and Harry Potter and friends are being totally awesome, dude. So, Harry finds out that Lucius and his weirdo cousin are going out, so Dudley is all like "woah" and Lucius is all like "I love muggles! Shut up, Voldemort! Yeeeee haw!" and then Voldemort was being awesome and stuff.

"Oh my GOD, they totally updated this thing!" said Voldemort, snogging Wormtail.

"Totally," Wormtail oh mah gah replied, "It's like that time when they made that thing where that dude replaced the word 'wand' with 'wang' in that Harry Potter thing on the intarweb."

"Do you want to see my wand, Wormtail?"

"Yessirie!"

Voldemort pulled out his wand and Wormtail gripped it and held it up. He then shouted, "this wand has killed so many people in the past! Who wants this wand to kill them NOW?"

_So oh mah gah, while Voldemort is being awesome, Dudley and Lucius were being awesome, too. Lucius dug out his wand and showed it to Dudley, and Dudley tried to touch it but Lucius pulled it out and green sparks lit up. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" he shouted. Dudley, then his loveslave, fell to the floor with the wand facing him. "You wanna touch my wand now, huh?"_

"Nooooo, why did they kill Dudley?" said Colin Creevey or WHOEVER THE HELL HIS NAME IS! Rawr.

"Because Dudley is a piece of WOAH!" said Harry Potter.

"I love you Harry Potter, can I kiss you?"

"No, no, no... your name is Colin Creevey, not _Jim_ _McGreevey_!"

_So, as ze end of ze vorld nears again, the world now being Venus because ze earth blew ze up, everybody is going crazy. People are like, being awesome and stuff, and Harry Potter is totally making out with Jim McGre--err--Colin Creevey, and Rita Skeeter is all over Lucius now and everyone is being awesome again! This is totally sweet, man. Totally!_


End file.
